The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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