Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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