how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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