what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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