i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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