Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
