apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize