her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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