I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
