Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
