i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
