So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
