Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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