hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
