im about as happy as oj after his trial
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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