wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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