Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
