I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
