So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
