And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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