do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize