yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
