I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize