i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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