Is it normal to miss your booty call?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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