apparently the secret to your success is patron
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
