Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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