if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
