sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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