I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
