we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
