fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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