No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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