i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i already hear my dad disowning me
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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