We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
