This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
