Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
