what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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