Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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