So drunk its hurt
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
