My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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