yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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