What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize