I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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