he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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