so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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