I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
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