my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
