You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
