The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize