Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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