you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
