Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just had sex bonerless
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
dude. I can hear the air.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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