And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
