worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
