her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
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