omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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