walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
