the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
